Helping Patients Mentally Deal with Pain

Chronic pain is real, but it is also unseen and unquantifiable. While dealing with a loved one’s illness is never pleasant, chronic pain disorders are particularly challenging because the level of the pain might change from day to day.

Sometimes, chronic pain isn’t visible and your loved one may look healthy but may be experiencing unbearable pain. Even when there’s no apparent reason or medical explanation, the pain is real. Learning about chronic pain and pain cycles might help you validate your loved one’s experiences.

Often they struggle with pain which can make them feel hopeless and helpless. Someone who is in pain caused by an injury or chronic condition, it seems impossible to give comfort. You can provide immediate help but emotionally supporting them is just as important. Pain is an emotional experience as much as it is a physical one. If you can help them get through the emotional aspect, the physical aspect will be far easier to manage.

So how do you provide support to someone whose pain is difficult to understand, or whose pain is unbearable?

#1 Help Reduce Stress

Negative feelings like depression, anxiety, stress, and anger can increase the body’s sensitivity to pain. By learning to take control of stress, you may find some relief from chronic pain. Learn to provide techniques to help reduce your loved one’s stress. Relaxing the mind and the body can be provided by soothing, calming music. It can lift their mood and make pain more bearable. Learn techniques that promote relaxation of the mind, the body and the spirit. This can largely and efficiently help anyone experiencing pain.

 #2 Provide Support

Individuals experiencing chronic pain feel that they are alone in their struggle. Being with someone who listens can be relieving. This can help them cope with the pain and the depression. Counseling can also help them learn to cope better and help avoid negative thoughts that make pain worse. A healthier attitude is a sign of strength and friends and family can reach out to loved ones as an online support group. Sometimes connecting with others who understand and experience similar challenges can be helpful and encouraging. It is truly motivating to keep going even at times when it feels like they just want to give up. 

#3 Acknowledge Their Emotions

It’s not uncommon for people dealing with unrelenting pain to feel discouraged, depressed, angry, frustrated or hopeless. Your loved one may want to participate in activities or family events, but may not be able to do so. People who suffer with chronic pain often feel isolated and unimportant. Recognize these emotions and help your family members work through them. Help them participate and socialize as much as possible. Listen to their experiences and sentiments. One of the best things you can do for a person in pain is to simply listen. What are they thinking? What are they feeling? They may wish to describe the pain to you, or they may wish to describe how they’re feeling in general. Are they angry that this happened to them? Do they feel depressed? Make them feel that you are listening, and pay attention to everything they’re trying to express.

#4 Provide Them Their Favorite Things

If someone’s pain requires them to be hospitalized, or if they’re stuck at home, try to bring them some of their favorite things, whether that’s the latest copy of a magazine, their favorite restaurant meal, their favorite toy or favorite hobby. Best of all, you need to bring yourself. Stop by to show them that somebody cares. Pain isn’t easy to deal with, either for the person experiencing it directly or for the person attempting to comfort them. But even the most basic lines of support can make a big impact. Stay positive throughout the experience, and remain as open and as flexible as you can. Pain is almost always temporary, and with additional support, it will only become easier to manage over time.

The Bottom Line

Let your loved ones enjoy life more by distracting them from their pain. Focusing on pain makes it worse rather than better.Help them find something they like doing. Help them engage in activities where your presence and support can also be felt. Nothing can be more relieving than seeing those who care. Pain can be unavoidable but everyone can take control of their lives. Patients who described their families as being supportive reported significantly less pain intensity, less reliance on medication and greater ability to get well.